I guess there will be no morning coming for me with Naomi Kawase's film. We had our first live meeting together, with the producer, Roman and the translator. Roman and I had just left the studio after the screening that Naomi was supposed to attend - she requested one three days ago, to see the film complete with all the edited and mixed music. It was an impossible task for just two days, but Roman and I managed. Naomi didn't come because she was too busy between all her appointments and her ongoing restrospective at the cinematheque. If that was a bad omen... but I was so elated and enthusiastic after the screening... "I have this music in my veins now" Roman said, "I can't imagine the film otherwise".
Not even hour after I entered the meeting room, I eventually learned that Naomi thought it "difficult to go one working with me". It took me a few seconds to realise that the outcome was negative. Roman was stunned and remained speechless during the whole meeting. I was devastated inside.
"Your music isn't suitable for the Japanese audience. You don't understand my cinema. It's truly magnificent. But I'm afraid it isn't suitable for my film. It cannot touch the audience..."
Those were her damning words. I was hoping Roman would say something. Naomi trusts him. But nothing came from him.
Tina, the editor, had told me a day before that if Naomi had been working with my music from the very beginning, there wouldn't have been any problem at all. Paradoxically, she got too accustomed to Akira's score that, even if she felt it was not deep and strong enough, she couldn't let go of her sense of familiarity with it.
My eyes locked to hers, I replied to Naomi that I knew that it must have been challenging to suddenly embrace all the new music - I have the inkling she didn't watch the whole film with the new music. I said that what all that I did was for the film's sake, and that perhaps she wasn't used to work that way with a composer. I told her that she should let it grow in her, that she should allow herself to change her mind later.
I could feel lots of confusion in the room. I really felt alone. My state of mind is leaning towards a darker shade of black. But somehow, I also knew I could be proud of what I had done, the music I composed is good.
Not even hour after I entered the meeting room, I eventually learned that Naomi thought it "difficult to go one working with me". It took me a few seconds to realise that the outcome was negative. Roman was stunned and remained speechless during the whole meeting. I was devastated inside.
"Your music isn't suitable for the Japanese audience. You don't understand my cinema. It's truly magnificent. But I'm afraid it isn't suitable for my film. It cannot touch the audience..."
Those were her damning words. I was hoping Roman would say something. Naomi trusts him. But nothing came from him.
Tina, the editor, had told me a day before that if Naomi had been working with my music from the very beginning, there wouldn't have been any problem at all. Paradoxically, she got too accustomed to Akira's score that, even if she felt it was not deep and strong enough, she couldn't let go of her sense of familiarity with it.
My eyes locked to hers, I replied to Naomi that I knew that it must have been challenging to suddenly embrace all the new music - I have the inkling she didn't watch the whole film with the new music. I said that what all that I did was for the film's sake, and that perhaps she wasn't used to work that way with a composer. I told her that she should let it grow in her, that she should allow herself to change her mind later.
I could feel lots of confusion in the room. I really felt alone. My state of mind is leaning towards a darker shade of black. But somehow, I also knew I could be proud of what I had done, the music I composed is good.
朝は来ない ● Asa wa konai
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