It happens again and again as new projects come and go, and the miracle never fails to happen. When I stepped into the artists' entrance of the Berlin Philharmonie Hall, it seemed like the most natural thing and excitement was literally devouring me! On the wall posters for upcoming concerts, rehearsal schedules. Do people who work there realise what a privilege it is? Do musicians who come to rehearse or perform feel the same excitement? I wish never to become jaded.
Lior Shambadal had reassured me the previous day, after the second rehearsal: the acoustic of the Berlin Philharmonie has been designed in such a way that the music will sound good wherever the listener is sitting. "I have played there countless times, I can assure you that it will!"
Some of the musicians came to me to congratulate me on the music. They usually would perform a more classical repertoire so that was a welcome change to them. Some others just didn't care and just came and left, like clerks in an office.
I was happy to have this contact with the musicians. It made me feel less like a tourist. I started to explain to them how I wished certain parts to be played. Maybe I should have insisted even more, impose myself more as the composer. There is still some way to go, before I exude such self confidence that people just bow down to me!
Simon said after the concert that when he saw me take a bow on stage, it was obvious to me that it was the place where I belong, instead of collaborating with other people and remaining in the shadow. The sentiment was also strong in me. Now that Thanh Giong is done, I feel everything is possible. I want to write more instrumental music.
My beloved goddess Karen and Alain came especially from Paris to attend the event. They clearly felt how important it was for me. I wish my father could come. I owe him so much, and the piece was dedicated to him, a gift for his 80th birthday. Seeing Karen and Simon reconnected me to an idea of 'real' life. It was indeed happening, and if I were to forget, they were there to remember for me!
The next project will be for dance. But I'm happy: I reunite with Jo, albeit for a short piece. Now I deserve a few days of rest