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A day with Nolico is always a day of discoveries and excitement. We were to go see the Ryuichi Sakamoto exhibition together, but she suggested we went to another one first about the Raku family at the National Museum. The Raku family have been creating ceramic wares for more than six centuries, cups for tea ceremonies that were ordered by samurais and noblemen. Looking at each cup was to listen to a long saga, and all the cups wanted to be heard! I was overwhelmed. The pieces created by recent members of the family were more dated, when those done five or six centuries are so modern and timeless.

We sat down in the room with a view on the fourth floor, contemplating the Imperial Palace in front of us. Precious moment.

The Sakamoto exhibition was held at the Watari Museum, one of my favourite museums in Tokyo. An abandoned small building with a fresco painted by Keith Harring, waiting to be restored is setting the tone. The exhibition consisted in three parts: a video installation based one filmed natures mortes of Sakamoto’s house and garden. As the image slowly become abstract digital paintings, we could hear some of the tracks from his new album. Also music that verges more toward the abstract, giving us a hint of what inhabits his mind: quietness and rebirth after the cancer he had been fighting a couple of years ago. At the entrance books, handwritten scores and photos that inspired him were in display. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that his music handwriting was quite similar to mine!

On the second floor we were invited to step in a dark room with small screens on the walls, each of them showing one of those natures mortes that were used for the video installation. In the basement, four turntables were at the disposal of those who wanted to listen to the album. To keep things still personal, Sakamoto used test pressing of the album. The basement was also the museum shop, with many of Sakamoto’s albums, DVD and books available. Fortunately, I had been browsing many second hand shops and found more than my bargain of Sakamotoralias. 

This journey into Sakamoto’s world was soothing for me. It gave me confidence again. New ideas for the film score started to burgeon in the back of my mind. 

I felt happy that this man, this hero of mine came out victorious in his battle against cancer. His creativity seems to have completed its full cycle and now begins a new birth. Sickness allows us to let go of the unnecessary, keep the essential and make room for something new.

A day ... no more

A Day… no more

A little more than a month ago, William contacted me again. Messages on LINE. I was reluctant to reply to him. He told me that he was a single man, that he was now living in Keelung in the flat where we had a few of our love escapades, years ago.

I was happy to hear from him, curious to know what he’d have to tell me, hopeful that he would finally declare himself to me. But I didn’t let my joy be shown. We kept on writing to each other. I was glad we were in touch again, despite some suspicion that nothing was really clear with him – as had been the case since the beginning of our relationship. As the days went by, I nurtured again the idea that perhaps this was the time for us to be together at last.

Before I left for Japan, I let down my guard and told him how I felt, how I had always felt. His hesitation to reply with words confirmed doubts that the feelings were perhaps not reciprocated.

We talked about driving to some remote places. It would be more accurate to say that I mentioned it first. “We could do that when you come back” was his reply. I was content. “I really cannot live without you in my life” I wrote. Silence was his reply.

Until this morning when he wrote that he had to tell me something. That he now had a new boyfriend. Blood stopped in my veins. I was so angry. He played with me again. Consciously or not. Willingly or not. He did.

It was the time to put a final stop to it. I asked him to no longer try to contact me again anymore and deleted his account – as if it could really be of any use.

I was not only angry. I was broken. Once again I let myself be fooled by some old Prince Charming delusion. At the age of 47 it was pathetic. If last year, the goodbye had me laugh out loud, this time the sentiment was morose and grey.

So, goodbye again.

And fuck you!

Lost and found

Lost and found

I had my new credit card. It had arrived the morning of my departure. The Chronopost service claims to deliver the good international within two days, but it actually was a week.

Everything was fine, I was ready for Tokyo.

I was to arrive at 1 a.m. in Haneda. Bong said he would wait for me at his office, as he usually works late. “I live in Shinjuku” he wrote. He didn’t elaborate. Was he still living in his flat in Nerima? The Shinjuku district is large.

It started when I arrived at the airport and wanted to retrieve some cash at the atm machine. The card was rejected. I didn’t understand. In order to activate a new card, using it at an atm machine was enough. On the second try, the card wasn’t even recognised. I attempted another time when I bought the bus ticket. The lady looked embarrassed as she told me the card was rejected. “Do you have another credit card?”. The question was synonymous of nightmare. 

Luckily, I still had a bit of Taiwanese money that I changed and so could get my ticket for the bus. But I felt ashamed, angry and exasperated. I suspected that my bank may have sent me the wrong card. I would find out the next day.

My arrival I Shinjuku made me forget my worries temporarily. The streets were nearly deserted. In Tokyo, they are never totally deserted. You can always feel the human vibration in some hidden bars or restaurants, or you see lone drunk workers leaning against a wall, or stagger their way home after a long evening with colleagues.

I was elated to be back. At last. To be in Tokyo, a city I adore. Nothing could really go wrong. I didn’t quite remember where Bong’s office was. Finding one’s way in Tokyo is a challenge. Getting lost as I am trying to locate a particular (CD) shop is one of my favourite past time. I vaguely remembered that his office was near an old bookstore, was close to a Tully’s coffee, that the street was just the next one after the Gyoen Shinjuku Park, that the gay district was on the other side of the street. But the bookstore apparently no longer was – it had closed, Bong told me later. I recognised the building opposite his office, but couldn’t find the door.

After one hour wandering the streets, I gave up and decided to spend the night at a mangakissa, as I had done the previous year. I was deep in my thought, sleepily making my way back to Shinjuku station when a guy on a bicycle passed me and startled me. It was Bong! 

Random

Marriages: ø
Divorces: ø
Had your heart broken: +++++++++++
Pets right now: ø
Surgeries: ø
Tattoos: ø
Piercings: ø
Shot a gun: at the army
Quit a job: I can't quit myself
Ever been on tv: yeas
Been to an island: oui - je vis sur une île!
Flown on a plane: ja
Furthest destination traveled: Paris-Tokyo, or Taipei-Townsville via Singapore...
Driven across country: Which country? In France yes. Driven as in driving a car.
Number of states visited: In the US? 3
Hit a deer: No
Someone cried over you: ...
Fallen in love: "Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß..."
Watched someone give birth: on t.v.
Watched someone die: more than once, unfortunately.
Been to Canada: Yes (Toronto I love you)
Been to Mexico: No
Ridden in an ambulance: Yes
Visited Las Vegas: Not in this lifetime
Sang karaoke: Yes and that was a disaster
Been downhill skiing: Luved it
Been water skiing: glooops
Ice skating: Yes. But that wasn't glorious
Surfing: That wouldn't be glorious either
Ridden on a motorcycle: in Đà Lạt
Ridden on a horse: Yes...
Almost died: when I nearly got crushed by two buses
Been punched: ø
Stayed in a hospital: when I was 7, and at the army hospital.
Ridden in the back of a police car: once after I had been attacked by a gang. 

A day with Vũ An

My nephew: "Do you know which letter girls like the most?"

Me: "No idea..."

My nephew: "It's 'A' like in 'Amour'....

A full day with my dear nephew Vũ An. We went to the cinema (the animated film Ma vie de Courgette, which he loved. He was so immersed in the story of the little boy that he kept talking to the screen and reacting to the character's actions). We then had fun at the Lego Batman attraction - Vũ An was given the Batman outfit to wear and follow a little course game. After being a hero for the day, we took the metro down to Chinatown, in the South-East part of Paris, where my parents were having a delicious meal with violinist Charles Frey - my father's old time friend, and his adorable wife Françoise. Being filled and fed didn't prevent us from thinking of food, and we  returned to the center of Paris, to visit my friend Ulysses and bought cakes at the bakery for tea. We made music (or tried to). Vũ An tried the piano and the harpsichord but had more fun when I placed him on Ulysses' massage table and played the evil doctor. I love my nephew's crystalline laughter.

We certainly walked a lot. I returned the little boy to his parents at the end of the day.

"I would like to do that again..." he said.

Uncle / Nephew: Drawing

My nephew: "I want to learn how to draw so I can be able to draw the Star Wars RTT, the PDT-8, the DDT Tank, the AT-AT Walkers... I want to take drawing lessons..."
Me: "But you draw quite well already! Look at what you have done today!"
My nephew: "No... what I do is rubbish. I want to draw the RTT and the AT-AT... Did daddy take drawing lessons when he was little?"
My brother: "No..."
Me: "You know, your father and I never used to take any drawing lessons. We would draw all the time. We didn't have TV, we didn't have tablets so we would draw a lot."
My nephew: "Can you draw a car?"
Me: "No. That was your father. I would draw birds. I loved birds."
My nephew: "But it's easy to draw a bird: all you have to do is to make a 'V'..."
I chuckled

Uncle / Nephew: Where to stay

My nephew: "Uncle An, why don't you want to stay at our place?"
Me: "It's not that I don't want to... but there isn't much room..."
My nephew: "You could sleep in the living room with Eastwood! (the dog)"
Me: "Eastwood would keep me warm, for sure... but I'm not certain that is a very good idea..."
My nephew: "You could sleep with your brother!"
Me: "... and where would your mother sleep?"
My nephew: "With Eastwood!!!"