Five year old boy

I woke up with a long forgotten feeling. The sensation was a familiar one when I was a child. It disappeared as I would grow up. The very last time I felt that way was when I was serving my military duties. A feeling of powerlessness. That there was nothing much I could do but wait until it was over.

I was a five-year-old boy. Another day at the kindergarten had just finished. I was waiting in the hall for my mother to come and pick me up. I believe we were in late autumn or winter, because night had already fallen. But as a five-year-old child, the sense of time is elastic.

It came over me without me realising it. It said that the coming twenty five years would be hard ones, but that I would be alright eventually. I would be in a state of a blur. A protecting veil?
I didn't realise it then, young as I was. It came back to me much later. But I subconsciously knew where I was heading to. Life is just a game, even though many of us aren't aware of it.