Sunday 15 January 2012


No news from KunLin so I'm wondering if the Silk Road concert in September with(out) Avi Avital is a buried story. I also learned that Chimei was supposed to be our sponsor and that the sine qua non condition was that this project be for mandolin, since the head of Chimei is a great lover of that instrument.

I saw FangYi last Saturday. She came to my place to discuss our future project, which actually isn't a new project for it's going to be performances of Just at the National Theatre in a triple bill program with Akram Khan and three principles from the New York City Ballet!
We last parted on an uncertain note. I was left quite frustrated about the use of the music (she had been using what I considered as drafts for the performances). Then when Fred told me that FangYi was also upset that she didn't have the means to make our collaboration a satisfying one I decided that it was time to blow away this fog that had been hovering over us. Future projects would demand a better working relationship.
I penned a long letter to her - I also understood that I had to stop being that hypersensitive when it comes to my work and retreat within myself whenever a problem seemed to find no way out. FangYi responded immediately - I could feel relief in her tone. Now we can go on.
A dinner was organised with all the dancers and the company staff. It was joyous, light-spirited. I had not drank so much in a long time. The dancers finally got a chance to spend a bit more time with the composer!

I will work on and enhance the music for Just. FangYi showed me the video the dress rehearsal of the Macau premiere. Even if it was reported that the audience loved the music, I will give it more layers as well as climaxes. 
The fact that we have to share the evening with luminaries like Akram Khan gives me a most welcome boost.

The days are quite slow and heavy, it takes me a lot of effort to move forward. It feels like swimming in the mud. Ryan's presence bring a freshness to the home. Even the usually taciturn Chubby loosens up. Ryan showed up on the night of Chubby's birthday last week end with a little cake and a gift. Chubby was surprised and moved. He's always surprised when people show signs of genuine affection. But if he would not acknowledge it, I can see him beam with joy. Was it lacking so much during his childhood in the family home?
Today Ryan's is taking the plane to Uh-merika. Five months in Wisconsin - snow and cows... I don't know what will happen on his return, but a little bud of hope has grown in me.

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