2:30 AM. Lying in bed. Sleep is slowly coming. I can feel my heart beat resonating through the bed like reminders of my solitude. I was wishing to live alone in this flat. I will be for the coming days before Ryan moves in. But now, I miss the company of someone. It occurs to me that this longing for solitude is a way to protect myself from it.
HsinChin has moved out. All his belongings have gone. The door to his room is locked. No word from him. I briefly saw him this morning as he emerged from his room. It was already nearly 11 a.m. but after realising I was there, he went back to his room and closed the door. I had the feeling that I may go out of the house so I went to the gym. When I came back a few hours later, everything was gone. Now his absence was strongly present, as his presence was more an absence when we were flatmates.
I have received a message from Jay who is devastated by his decision to end his relationship with Duncan.
I wasn't surprised for I know how impulsive he is, I may have felt more sadness at the news.
"Don't worry", he reassured me. "I don't see a break up as something sad. It's an evolution in my life. The same happened with Jienn Chiang. I'm quite fine"
It obviously hit him more violently in the silence of the night.