Start the Play

Duke Ellington playing on my stereo. I'm alone (at last) in the flat. ChihWei is rehearsing with the pianist for his upcoming concert next week, Chubby is still working at his gallery, Nana has gone to some remote island near Singapore and I enjoy it.

I just saw Wei Wei (Jasmine) for tea. We finally managed to make some time and see each other en tête à tête after more than three years. I wanted to tell her about my play Before my Eyes. Now the ideas are starting to become clearer - each time I get the chance to talk to someone about it, new details, new angles of approach rise to the surface of light. Wei Wei suggested that I kept everything written down and sent them to those involved in the project, namely she, Isabelle, Tsuyoshi and CJ. That will allow everyone to contribute feedbacks and ideas, and also relieve me from the pressure of having to work on my own and deliver finished a finished play. I'll start settling the base and all the elements I have, also copy passages of books, poems or articles which inspire(d) me and develop from there. That will also allow everyone to follow the process and contribute to the project. I'm glad that Wei Wei accepted to be part of the project. I think she will be perfect. I'm having doubts about Isabelle, not as an actress, but about whether she will summon the strength and courage to leave her worries in France and take the plane to work with us. I have hardly seen her during my stay in Paris. The usual cycle of personal reasons: husband, family, worries, career, life, husband, family, career... When a problem becomes a habit, it's harder to get out of the infernal cycle. I no longer know what to think regarding her. I have to concede that this play was supposed to be a present to her. Knight An delivering to fairest Isabelle a gift of life and creation. But fairest Isabelle remains mute and distanced. And the knight An becomes another Don Quixote.

Wei Wei's suggestion will get things started. Her input and direct involvement will be a good help for me.
She also accepted to be one of the faces for the music video I'll make of Nothing comes to Light. Yay!

[...]

Another erhu recording session with WeiJen yesterday. It's always a pleasure to play with him, but I wonder if this session was very that necessary. I don't want to give in to negativity once more. This past week has been a nuisance. I get in cranky mood before I realise it. I attract negative thoughts like a magnet, meditation or not. I question everything and everyone. Rage is always about to explode at any slight opportunity

 Jay seems to like the new music for the chase scene. Good. But/however/nevertheless (...?) he hinted in his last message that the erhu may give the scene (film?) too Eastern a vibe, when the film is actually more American in style and structure, despite the fact that the story is set in Taipei. I forgot that this point was exactly what shocked me when I first saw the film. Jay's use of the Gershwin song gave a very Woody Allen (circa Manhattan) atmosphere contrasted heavily with the story and everything else. Yes, only the direction was American in style. I want to tell him that since he asked me to rewrite the score, he should expect his film to be different and evolve to another place. Now he's in Dubai for another film festival (a film festival in Dubai... I nearly chuckled when I heard that)

The wise thing for me to do now: not taking any decision. Let the week reach its resolution and I shall see more clearly very soon.

A good shag would be the solution for now.