Friday, 19 July 2013

One night

"Can I come and sleep at your place tonight?"
I was surprised. Apart from two nights at his m/other's place in Keelung, we seldom spend nights together. Boyfriend oblige. William had cancelled our appointments a few times because of his m/other who demanded more and time and care from him.
He arrived around midnight. 
"I had a fight with my boyfriend". William confided.
"Where is he now?"
"He's out with his friends, probably at a KTV, drinking. 
"I suppose I shouldn't ask about the reason..."
"Yes. You... He thought we weren't seeing each other anymore so he got angry... and scared when he learned that we still did."
"Did that happen already in the past?" 
"Yes in Kaohsiung, when I wanted to visit my ex-boyfriend."
"Of course he was jealous...."
"How did you two get to decide to have an open relationship? Does he know about the people you see? And do you know what he does on his side...? Do you ever talk about that?"
"No. We decided that after the story with this boyfriend in Kaohsiung. We were at the army..."
"I see... Maybe you should be more open about that. Not hide... That's why he's scared."
It was the first time William would talk about his intimate life. I avoided asking any question. But curiosity did pique me at times although I respected his privacy.
"You can't spend your whole life handling what people want from you. It's time you think about what you want for yourself..."
William remained silent. He was aware of all of that. What did I expect... I had not much hope that he would announce he would leave his current life and build something new for himself, with me in the picture.  Would I be able to keep on seeing once every other week? I knew he was trying his best, but at time he would be crushed by all the demands. And I didn't want to demand anything. If there was a choice to be made, it had to come from within.
But how happy I was to see him lying next to me. He tried to initiate sex and we played a little before I put him to sleep. Poor guy had to wake up at 6am the next day and it was nearly 1am past...
As soon as we kept still, William fell asleep. 
And I was content.

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