Tuesday, 7 May 2013

The Captive Queen, c'est moi!!!

As Flaubert who said 'Madame Bovary, c'est moi!' I could also say 'The Captive Queen, c'est moi!' Although I realise it's dangerous to use the word queen outside of the semantic field of royalty...
I just completed the score intended for what was supposed to be my fourth collaboration with Jo Kanamori: The Captive Queen.
It took me a couple of weeks before I could go back to that piece, after Jo finally decided that it wasn't going to work out this time. Since I no longer had to follow Sibelius' musical structure so closely, I allowed myself to wander a little away from the narrative.
As I listened to it again, I realise how much the music was saying my current state of being. As Nicolas said when he heard it: "The music is very beautiful, very much aware, not at all lost. What I sense is this yearning for abandonment, to let go. Not of yourself, but what keeps your prisonner."

I have been dealing with that eversince I came back from Paris, more than a month ago.  

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