Music

Monday. So elated today!!! I wrote two new songs for Karen. They happened pretty much on the spot. The musicians came today and I had to make sure to have them play all the parts I had in mind. They’re so good that they immediately understand what I want. Anyway, it was just about writing a song. The structure is simple so the interesting part is to bring the textures and layers.

It’s always amusing to see how from a hint or an idea, a song becomes ‘real’ when it’s played.

It started with Larry, the drummer. He was there for the morning. We had four songs to record. I told him we would do the songs form scratch. No melody, no chord. I could only give him the structure of the songs and tap the rhythm patterns I wanted him to play. I sent Karen to do her warm ups and work on the new songs in the piano room. It would have been disorienting to hear just the drum parts.

Everything went so smoothly. With skilled and efficient musicians, all you have to worry about is shaping up your vision.

Kraig and Bob, the guitar and bass players joined in the afternoon. It took them no more than a minute to catch the spirit of the songs. I would play the piano and Wurlitzer along with them. Of the two new songs, one is a fast number currently called Beyond the Blur, has distinctive Brit-pop flavour to it, something between Bloc Party and New Order. I had no clue whether Karen would like it. I had to do it that way. There was this insistent hook I couldn’t get out of my mind. I thought it was too corny. When I played it to Kraig and Bob, they rejoiced as if they had heard the gospel. They (pretended) to practice it over and over to get it right, but I guess they just enjoyed playing it. "I think I want to replay this line one octave higher" he would say after one take. Then  "I think this would sound even better if I played it with this different sound…" 

Watching them, I didn’t see two mature men, but two passionate teenagers who were just the happiest to be making music together. 

When Karen heard the new songs, she was beaming. I don’t know how well she’ll handle the Beyond the Blur song. But she loved it. I’m almost jealous I didn’t write that for myself!

 

I have asked Jon whether he’d be willing to work with me on my second album. The thought has been staying with me since my first time in Chicago. Now it’s obvious. We work really well together and share the same intuition about music. Above all, I can joke with him. I feel a strong mutual trust now, which is vital to me. It took some time. There was some resistance from his part when we first worked together, which was understandable. Suddenly there was this bloke from Paris who came and started brushing off all that had been done previously. Even if that was necessary, there was one thing he understood: to me music is not a question of ego. I may have an inner vision I want to translate in sounds; I may be demanding and very dry sometimes, but it’s always for the music.

Jon is really happy I asked him. Working with Steven, Larry, Kraig and Bob will be hoot! I don’t know how this can happen, but this is what I have in mind now, and by some magic or extraordinary coordination of circumstances, it will happen.

Bob, the bass player

Cello man II

Jon didn’t lie. Steven, the cellist was this giant of a musician, in both senses of the term. He immediately got what I wanted to do and expressed his pleasure at working with us. As soon as he entered the room, I felt the instant urge to tease him and he immediately responded with lots of wit. That set the mood of the session.

I got up this morning at six to pen down the arrangement of I am. It’s now a delicious piece of music for cello and piano. I haven’t sorted out the melody yet. But it’s most likely that Karen will not use the arrangement. We had a half heated, half humorous discussion. She wanted the music to be ‘happy’ for the lyrics were about a celebration of the self. Yet Scalde’s composition was at best meditative, at worse hopelessly sad. Its slowness and cinematic feel would make it the perfect soundtrack for a road movie. But that was not what Karen had in mind, even if she liked the music. "It's a celebration", she kept repeating. 

So this new arrangement will not be used…  I will lose no time to come up with a new melody and new lyrics of my own.

I hope to have the opportunity to work again with Steven. So far, all the musicians Jon called in for the recording were as talented as they were nice.

Cello man

Jon didn’t lie. Steven, the cellist was this giant of a musician, in both senses of the term. He immediately got what I wanted to do and expressed his pleasure at working with us. As soon as he entered the room, I felt the instant urge to tease him and he immediately responded with lots of wit. That set the mood of the session.

I got up this morning at six to pen down the arrangement of I am. It’s now a delicious piece of music for cello and piano. I haven’t sorted out the melody yet. But it’s most likely that Karen will not use the arrangement. We had a half heated, half humorous discussion. She wanted the music to be ‘happy’ for the lyrics were about a celebration of the self. Yet Scalde’s composition was at best meditative, at worse hopelessly sad. Its slowness and cinematic feel would make it the perfect soundtrack for a road movie. But that was not what Karen had in mind, even if she liked the music. ‘Celebration‘, she kept repeating. So this new arrangement will not be used…  I will lose no time to come up with a new melody and new lyrics.

The second song we worked on was Neptunia. I wrote the song back in 2004 when I was living in Vienna. 

It was conceived as a piano song, like a contemporary artsong. Karen loved it, as I had loved her lyrics when she handed them for me to read. 

Neptunia went through a whole series of transformation. Karen re-worked on it in Chicago with Keithan, whose only notable work I know of is his background singing for Madonna on True Blue. It was just awful and tacky. Jon, who had already been hired as the recording engineer then, tried to save and defend what was done during that session, but he stood my ground. 

When Steven played the cello parts, everyone understood why I was so determined.

I hope to have the opportunity to work again with Steven. So far, all the musicians Jon called in for the recording were as talented as they were nice.

Here's the first version I did of Neptunia. 

Neptunia 

I am

The cellist is coming tomorrow. I have to get all the score written down for him. I have to. But I don’t feel like doing it. After eight or nine hours in the studio, the last thing I want to do back at the hotel is to sit down at my desk and score the parts. 

There’s that one song called I am that Karen wrote with my friend Scalde, which will need to be refashioned to suit her voice (meaning change of key, change of chords, change of instrumentation...) 

Musical sketches start to crystallize in my mind. I’ll see what happens tomorrow. If the cellist is the good musician Jon claims he is - which he certainly is, then the session shall go in the smoothest way possible. I like the challenge of not knowing!

Cello man

The cellist is coming tomorrow. I have to get all the score written down for him. I have to. But I don’t feel like doing it. After eight or nine hours in the studio, the last thing I want to do is to sit down at my desk and score the parts. There’s that one song called I am Karen wrote with my friend Scalde (aka Sylvain) which will need to be refashioned to suit her voice. Musical sketches start to crystallize in my mind. I’ll see what happens tomorrow. If the cellist is the good musician Jon claims he is - which he certainly is, then the session shall go in the smoothest way possible. I like the challenge of NOT knowing!

An, Anne, Âne, Anh

I received a little message from a violin duo act from Germany to invite me to take part in a contest to write a piece for them. The piece will then be submitted to a jury and then played in front of an audience. The first prize will be picked according to the reception to the music. I’ve never  written anything with this aim in mind. As my acting teacher once said, « if you  enjoy yourself, then the audience will enjoy themselves too. Don’t try to please them »

The piece shall contain bravura sections, make people cry and dance and cheer. Circus music? All this should last less than five minutes.  Humm… what about a punk polka ?

I’m supposed to send the score before the month of July. I have sketched a few ideas in my mind. Something between a wacky Klezmer number and a minimalist Steve Reich inspired piece. Strangely, the idea of the circus sticks to my mind.

It was fortunate I didn’t keep Pandemonium as the title for my album. It has already been used by some r’nb band I never heard of, I discovered at Karen’s. How this CD ended up at her place I know not. She doesn’t either. Hyperbody now.

[…]

Third day of work in Chicago. I have resumed my little routine: early morning wake up, gym, then work the whole day at the studio. No more. 

We are putting the finishing touch to the songs we had recorded on our last sessions. Karen re-sang some of her vocals. I was pleasantly surprised by her newly gained confidence. The songs really do sound good. New ones will be recorded in the coming days. I haven’t scored nor written down anything yet but I will improvise on the spot. The cellist will be there in two days. I know everything is going to fall into place in the most pleasant manner. I know how John works, how Karen functions. Four new songs and she will have a complete album; four songs in various stage of completion. The melody always comes last because I want to create the perfect musical setting and use Karen’s vocal limitations to her advantage. I’m really at my most alive and focused when I’m working. John and Karen may show signs of tiredness but I could go on for many more hours. Music does indeed feed me.

I have to plan a recording schedule when  I come back to Paris.

No more excuse to sit back and complain.

I finally get in touch again with this directedness I had as I child. Nothing matters but what I want to do. During the past two months I was horrified to see my old demons coming back to the surface. Doubts, anger, fear, self-pity… Hadn’t I worked hard enough on myself to go past it?  But deep inside, I knew I was playing the last show to myself. Then it would be time to move on and really do what I’m here to do. It’s curious now that I have decided to no longer have ‘no’ in my life, I feel that the space around me has been deserted. It’s up to me now to fill it with new things.

I did the shooting for Pierre’s documentary a few days before leaving for Chicago. He wanted to film me at home, like he had done with the other persons. A bare wall, and I would be filmed down to the waist. 

Five minutes talking about oneself doesn’t seem so long. I had to elaborate a little scenario about my personal history with my name. An.

Pierre showed up at eleven with his assistant. Five minutes doesn’t seem long. But if you had to stare at the camera, tell a seamless structured story to total strangers, be yourself, it becomes slightly less simple. What we know and remember isn’t what people see and hear. Pierre didn’t want to leave any detail to imagination. He wanted all the facts clearly stated in the story. It‘s wasn‘t simple being myself after all, for I had my story rewritten according to his vision.  It felt like watching someone playing you, speaking someone’s else words that could have been yours… from the inside. Not so much a documentary after all, especially after the tenth take. I knew my lines by heart. Sometime, I would rebel and bring up new elements into the narrative. My name, how difficult it was to bear it. An. Short and so easy to remember, according to my mother. My parents who came to Paris to study, got married and thought they’d be returning to their homeland - which homeland?  Oh, yes… Vietnam. How I grew up feeling alienated because I had no country. How I would come home, angry and distressed at my schoolmates who would make fun of my name. 

"An? But it’s a girl’s name!!!". 

Some, pushing the absurdity even further in trying to understand why a boy should bear a female name and would come victoriously with the historical fact: it was also a male name in the 17^th century. Anne de Montmorency, for instance. Remember? Even if I wore a powdered wig à la Louis XIV, I doubt I’d be very convincing at disguising my Asian roots…